Vulnerable as F*ck

Writing is f*cking vulnerable.

Whether it’s writing through poetry, prose, music, or any other form of media, it is difficult to put the things you have in your head and your heart out on paper and into the world for anyone to see, judge, and react to. 

For me, a perfectionistic, slightly OCD, anxiety-ridden, semi-depressed mess, it is absolutely nothing but vulnerable…which is absolutely nothing but scary. And, for that very reason, I’ve feared putting my writing out for years. It took me a long while to call myself a “creator” and I definitely don’t think I’ve graduated to “writer” just yet. I’m a marketer first and foremost, but that’s not necessarily a title I’ve ever purposefully worked toward…just one that I kind of fell into.

While working in marketing for the past seven years, I’ve spent a lot of time distracting and distancing myself from my desire to be a writer; although I always end up coming back to it and trying to work up the courage to take action. Along the way, I’ve worked through many iterations of poems and stories that have helped to outline and define who I am – or was in that moment.

But I don’t want to just write about my life and my struggles with mental health, trauma, and the like. My writing isn’t meant only to be a somewhat sad yet often optimistic memoir. I love problem-solving and helping others find solutions they might not have thought of. I love grabbing a thesis and delving into it layering on thought after thought coupled with research to better understand it. I love pop culture, movies, books, music, and art, and I especially love talking about them. I also love getting stupidly obsessed with one topic and reading, watching, and listening to everything I can find about that specific topic for months until I get sick of it. And, I want to write about those things, too.

I don’t want to be limited in my writing and I especially don’t want perfectionism and fear to keep holding me back. My being is not finite nor one-dimensional. I want to be limitless and to write wide. To put pen to paper (or claws to keyboard?) and just RELEASE.

It took me years to get here, but I’m finally finding that I cannot and will not be defined by niche and put in a box. Instead, my skill of lifelong learning and consistent curiosity has encouraged my constant crusade to grow and expand my knowledge and know-how. Now I feel ready to share that with anyone deciding to join me on this journey.

I’m ever-evolving and I think the best humans are always working toward growth, expansion, and nirvana.

And, let’s be honest, existing f*cking sucks sometimes. But it doesn’t always have to. We can use our experiences to create works of art to connect with one another and make existing suck a little less for others struggling just like us. To live is to struggle. To exist is to endure. To create art through our existence is to prevail. And I will prevail.

My goal is to illuminate on my life, experiences, and interests and to just write and release. Through my process of illumination, I invite you to shine your light with me. Let’s Grow and Glow and see what more we can make of this life.

Shine on,
Alexia